"Hola, familia! It's Josh - I'm this week's HOH. Top 4 baby! I feel like the man right now. I'm back in the suite. I got my family (shows family photos) - keeps me grounded, reminds me why I'm here, reminds me why I'm doing this.
The hardest thing about being in this house is, umm... getting attached to certain people. Building genuine friendships, from spending so much time together. Listen, as a VIEWER (motions to us), you guys don't understand the magnitude of how hard it is in this house. Not only that, how attached you grow to people. It's 82 days, but I've spent more time with these people in this house - even Jess & Cody - than I have with my the majority of my friends, ya know, a lot of my family. I've grown attached to them, I've built genuine friendships with them, I've grown to love them, I've grown to respect them, I've grown to admire them for the people that they are. And it makes it hard when you're playing against these people. It's makes it hard when you have to vote to evict a person, because they're just too good - like Jason.
It hasn't been easy since Jason has left. It hasn't been easy while Jason was on the block. It hasn't been easy for the past two weeks! Knowing that it was going to get to this point... knowing that we were going to turn on each other. Um, even contemplating *whispers* turning on Paul, has been extremely hard. Um.. I've looked at the guys like my brother. He's had my back 100%. He's been nothing but a good friend to me, and here I've leaned on him A LOT - more than you guys can even imagine. Um, ya know, and even with the game that he is playing, and how he's played his game, everything that he's doing... I love the kid.
Um, so it's hard to even think about things like that, or or even try to go against people that I've grown to love - that they're going to be my friends, if they choose to be after this experience, for life! They're stuck with me for life! They don't know it yet, but they're gonna know once we get out of here! You guys are stuck with me for life - we're a family - you're part of my family. I'm gonna go visit you guys. I'm staying out in L.A. for a week. They're comin' to my house. So, they're stuck with me.
But definitely having to go against people that I have grown a friendship with, has been the hardest thing about this house. And the hardest thing about these past two weeks. I thought that the first half of the game was hard, because I had people against me, I was facing a lot of adversity, it was a lot of attacks, it was screaming, it was a lot of back and forth between me and a lot of people. I would rather deal with THAT, to the end, than to deal with people that I've grown to love and respect and actually care about, um, our friendship, and have to send them out.
But, it IS part of the GAME. I'm on a mission *eyebrows raised*. I have a plan. I *whispers* WANT TO WIN!"
Edited (09/13/17 11:21 AM)