JokersUpdates.com: BB In-Depth - My first impressions of the houseguests, based on nothing...

First impressions based on their CBS bios:

Ashley — Bimbo who thinks she’s more than that, but isn’t. Anyone who says “I’m actually really smart”, isn’t. Jeff is her favorite past houseguest? FAIL. Edited to add: After watching part of the WLBB interview, I stick to this assessment.

Danielle — Will probably be eaten alive, but probably won’t be super annoying. Edited to add: After watching part of the WLBB interview, I stick to this assessment.

Frank — Dumb as a rock. His proudest accomplishment is PAYING FOR ORTHODONTIA. Edited to add: After watching part of the WLBB interview, I double down on this assessment.

Ian — Token nerd, really young, probably going to crash and burn early by shooting himself in the foot and overplaying. Edited to add: After watching part of the WLBB interview, I stand by this assessment for the most part, but he's a longtime watcher, so maybe he'll surprise me. I will say that I watched more of the interview than I did for any of the previous players.

Jenn — REALLY unfortunate looking. Obviously trying to elevate her music career by appearing on the show, which means she will suck at the game. Edited to add: She's even more unfortunate looking in video. I also don't like her voice. I'll stick with my original assessment. She was recruited, for one thing, so she's REALLY going to suck at this game.

Jodi — She’s 42 years old, and she’s a waitress? I sense that she’ll either be a princess or dead weight. Edited to add: Hmmm, maybe she'll go further than I think she will, she's not super annoying in the video. She's a feedwatcher! She auditioned! She likes Danielle Reyes! Maybe I'll actually like her. She talks a good game.

Joe — Favorite past houseguest is Chicken George? Seriously? I will have my Doofus Detector ready when this guy gets on the air, that’s for sure. Edited to add: No interview, which mean he was either a last minute addition or last minute replacement—and if he's not a no-brainer for the producers to include, he's probably cannon fodder.

JoJo — Jersey Shore? I predict lots of annoyance factor from this girl, especially if she and Ashley play off each other. Edited to add: OH MY GOD she IS annoying. She's going to crash and burn for sure, unless the Diary Room steps in to keep her in the game "for the drama".

Kara — Pretty and bland, she’ll probably win because people will forget to evict her. Edited to add: I actually think she's battery operated, after seeing part of her video. She's going to put me to sleep.

Shane — I got nothing. So far he seems boring. Edited to add: Now that I see him in his video, he seems like the Ken to Kara's Barbie. Boooooooring. Nice abs I guess. ::falls asleep::

Wil — I detect narcissistic douchebag vibes coming off this dude’s picture. Edited to add: Oh, he's the Flamboyant Gay Guy™. Way to cleave to the trope, Wil. Like all gay guys on this show, I'll either love him to death or despise him. Very few of them are merely "meh".

Willie — EWWWW. He’s 34 and lives with his MOTHER, he frequents strip clubs, and he smokes. Ewww, ewww, ewwww. Edited to add: I didn't realize he was a Hantz. Why do people think we want to see more Hantzes on our television? He might surprise me, and I hope he does. I hope SOMEONE does, he seems more low-key than Russell, and less aggressive. Sounds like a total misogynist.

Edited (07/05/12 02:26 PM)